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At Growing Greatness, we celebrate the work of parents, caregivers, educators, and youth advocates who are building strong and resilient children. Every child has greatness within, and with the right support and guidance, that greatness shines. In our last post, we introduced the Nurtured Heart Approach® and its Three Stands: Absolutely No, Absolutely Yes, and Absolutely Clear. In this post, we’ll go a step further and explore how this approach can transform daily life in your household, turning everyday moments into opportunities for connection, growth, and empowerment.
How the Nurtured Heart Approach Can Transform Your Household
Parenting is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, but it can also be one of the most challenging. Many parents find themselves caught in a cycle of reacting to misbehavior, raising their voices, and feeling like the focus is always on what went wrong rather than what went right. The Nurtured Heart Approach® (NHA) offers a fresh perspective that not only shifts how we respond to children but also transforms the energy of an entire household.
What is the Nurtured Heart Approach?
The Nurtured Heart Approach is a relationship-based method designed to help children build their sense of inner worth, resilience, and self-regulation. Instead of emphasizing rules, punishments, or rewards, NHA focuses on recognizing and amplifying positive behavior. By highlighting a child’s strengths and successes, parents help children develop the confidence and inner wealth they need to thrive.
Why It Works
Children, especially those who may be strong-willed or easily discouraged, often receive more attention for their challenging behaviors than for their successes. NHA flips this pattern by giving energy and recognition to the behaviors we want to see more of. Over time, children begin to see themselves differently. They stop identifying as troublemakers and start recognizing that they are capable, responsible, and valued members of the family.
Core Principles of NHA
- Absolutely No
Refuse to give energy to negative behaviors. Instead of reacting with frustration or anger, remain calm and neutral. - Absolutely Yes
Be intentional about noticing and energizing the positive. Celebrate successes, effort, and moments of greatness no matter how small. - Absolutely Clear
Set and enforce clear rules and boundaries. Consequences are consistent, predictable, and delivered without shame or hostility.
The Impact on Your Home
Implementing the Nurtured Heart Approach can lead to powerful changes.
• More peaceful interactions. Parents spend less time correcting and more time connecting.
• Increased confidence in children. Kids learn that their greatness comes from who they are, not just what they achieve.
• Stronger family bonds. When children feel seen and appreciated, they respond with greater cooperation and trust.
• Reduced power struggles. Parents model calm, consistent responses, lowering tension in the household.
Putting It into Practice
• Start by catching your child being good, even in small ways.
• Replace phrases like “Don’t do that” with “I appreciate how you are keeping your hands to yourself.”
• Keep your energy steady when setting limits. Stay firm but calm.
• Celebrate your child’s strengths every day.
Final Thoughts
The Nurtured Heart Approach is not about ignoring misbehavior or pretending everything is perfect. It is about shifting the focus to what is strong, capable, and good in each child. When children begin to internalize this positive reflection, they often rise to meet the image their parents hold of them.
By embracing NHA, your household can become a place where children feel empowered, parents feel calmer, and relationships flourish.
Learn More:
Igniting Greatness - The Nurtured Heart Approach: Sarah How at TEDxFargo
The Nurtured Heart Approach to Positive Parenting (with Howard Glasser)
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